“Most people think it’s ridiculous to learn Dutch. Let me rephrase that: most Dutch people think it’s ridiculous for foreign students to try and learn Dutch.
At least that’s what they’ll tell you. And two minutes later they’re chatting away in that incomprehensibly guttural language that’s made up of sounds my mouth can’t even form. This seems somewhat paradoxical. On the one hand, they tell you not to bother learning a language that only 16 million people speak. On the other hand, there’s absolutely no worse feeling than that creeping sense of invisibility that attends every Dutch-dominated dinner party. What the hell are they saying?
It seems to me, after staggering through the Groene Boek and the Delftse Methode (for beginners, mind you) that actually, they’re not discussing the meaning of life or the secret to immortality or why Britney Spears has gone insane. No, in reality, the Dutch conversations that we all struggle so hard to decipher are probably something like:
‘Hey man. What’s happening?’
‘Yeah, you know. Not much. Want to get something to eat?’
In other words: you’re not missing much. Now, I know, I know, it seems like the world’s passing you by when you’re surrounded by these strange sounds that seem to make sense to everyone except you. But I promise, if the building is burning down around you, you’ll get enough context clues to jump out the window in time. Although I do find it quite rude to speak Dutch when even one person in the room cannot understand the conversation, one could also argue that we (the buitenlanders) have chosen of our own free will to attend a university in a foreign land. This foreign land comes packaged with a foreign language, and although almost everyone under 50 speaks English fluently, one should respect the fact that they might find it easier to speak their first language when gathered together. That said, I can also give countless examples of times when I’d sooner wring all the little Dutch necks spouting gobbledeegook than look at the situation rationally.
So the dilemma arises: to learn Dutch or not to learn Dutch? For Erasmus students, it hardly seems worth the effort: six months of partying isn’t usually stifled by a language barrier. If you’re planning on staying more than a year, I’d recommend learning enough Nederlands to get by. Even if you slaughter the pronunciation, people should appreciate the fact that you’re trying, damnit! For international MSc students, it gets tricky. Yes, you’re here for two years (minimum), but the MSc tracks are all taught in English. Presumably, this means your courses will be given in a language you can understand. I’ve even heard that they’re giving lecturers little English exams now before they can teach. Which is interesting, since there are also teachers who say (in Dutch) before the lecture starts: ‘Are there any foreigners here? I’m going to speak Dutch, and if you don’t like it, speak up.’ Ah, such a classy move: the best part is that this is said in Dutch, which means, if you couldn’t understand the question you won’t raise your hand to object, and the clever professor gets to go on rambling in his mother tongue. Such devious moves at the TU are not as uncommon as one might hope. Seriously, if you’ve already taken English courses for years in an effort to ready yourself for this ‘international experience’, isn’t it reasonable to expect people to give you a bit of credit? Apparently not. Now, if you choose to trample on the Dutch culture and refuse to learn anything, then one might question your motives for being here. After all, the food, the language and the weather are all part of the experience. But if you can motivate yourself enough to understand the introductions, then your effort should be applauded. After all, what are you going to do with a language only 16 million people can understand? It’s like having a secret handshake:
‘Hoi man, hoe is ie?’
‘Ja, lekker. Wil je wat eten?’
And now you’re in the club.
Dorothy Parker, MSc Architecture, is from the United States. Her next column will be published in Delta 16. She can be emailed at: onbezorgd@gmail.com
“Most people think it’s ridiculous to learn Dutch. Let me rephrase that: most Dutch people think it’s ridiculous for foreign students to try and learn Dutch. At least that’s what they’ll tell you. And two minutes later they’re chatting away in that incomprehensibly guttural language that’s made up of sounds my mouth can’t even form. This seems somewhat paradoxical. On the one hand, they tell you not to bother learning a language that only 16 million people speak. On the other hand, there’s absolutely no worse feeling than that creeping sense of invisibility that attends every Dutch-dominated dinner party. What the hell are they saying?
It seems to me, after staggering through the Groene Boek and the Delftse Methode (for beginners, mind you) that actually, they’re not discussing the meaning of life or the secret to immortality or why Britney Spears has gone insane. No, in reality, the Dutch conversations that we all struggle so hard to decipher are probably something like:
‘Hey man. What’s happening?’
‘Yeah, you know. Not much. Want to get something to eat?’
In other words: you’re not missing much. Now, I know, I know, it seems like the world’s passing you by when you’re surrounded by these strange sounds that seem to make sense to everyone except you. But I promise, if the building is burning down around you, you’ll get enough context clues to jump out the window in time. Although I do find it quite rude to speak Dutch when even one person in the room cannot understand the conversation, one could also argue that we (the buitenlanders) have chosen of our own free will to attend a university in a foreign land. This foreign land comes packaged with a foreign language, and although almost everyone under 50 speaks English fluently, one should respect the fact that they might find it easier to speak their first language when gathered together. That said, I can also give countless examples of times when I’d sooner wring all the little Dutch necks spouting gobbledeegook than look at the situation rationally.
So the dilemma arises: to learn Dutch or not to learn Dutch? For Erasmus students, it hardly seems worth the effort: six months of partying isn’t usually stifled by a language barrier. If you’re planning on staying more than a year, I’d recommend learning enough Nederlands to get by. Even if you slaughter the pronunciation, people should appreciate the fact that you’re trying, damnit! For international MSc students, it gets tricky. Yes, you’re here for two years (minimum), but the MSc tracks are all taught in English. Presumably, this means your courses will be given in a language you can understand. I’ve even heard that they’re giving lecturers little English exams now before they can teach. Which is interesting, since there are also teachers who say (in Dutch) before the lecture starts: ‘Are there any foreigners here? I’m going to speak Dutch, and if you don’t like it, speak up.’ Ah, such a classy move: the best part is that this is said in Dutch, which means, if you couldn’t understand the question you won’t raise your hand to object, and the clever professor gets to go on rambling in his mother tongue. Such devious moves at the TU are not as uncommon as one might hope. Seriously, if you’ve already taken English courses for years in an effort to ready yourself for this ‘international experience’, isn’t it reasonable to expect people to give you a bit of credit? Apparently not. Now, if you choose to trample on the Dutch culture and refuse to learn anything, then one might question your motives for being here. After all, the food, the language and the weather are all part of the experience. But if you can motivate yourself enough to understand the introductions, then your effort should be applauded. After all, what are you going to do with a language only 16 million people can understand? It’s like having a secret handshake:
‘Hoi man, hoe is ie?’
‘Ja, lekker. Wil je wat eten?’
And now you’re in the club.
Dorothy Parker, MSc Architecture, is from the United States. Her next column will be published in Delta 16. She can be emailed at: onbezorgd@gmail.com
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